Losing Myself
by kili-kittencat
Summary: I'm falling more and more in love with him with every passing minute, and losing more and more of my old self in the process.


**This is my very first ever fanfic on this website, so a review would make me insanely happy!**

**Rated T to be safe because of some naughty words and a mention of some sexual stuff, and because Yami no Bakura is a psychotic bastard.**

**THIS IS YAOI, if you don't agree with it, don't read it.**

**Warning- this fanfic contains excessive quantities of sleeping Ryo. He is very cute.**

**Sorry for OOC-ness!**

**Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to some Japanese guy whose name I can't remember, and Ryo Bakura and Yami no Bakura belong to each other.**

**LOSING MYSELF**

Tick. Tock.

11:35 PM.

I'm still awake. How could I not be? That bloody alarm clock is ticking loud enough to wake the dead. I glare at it, its bright glow-in-the-dark display winking obnoxiously at me through the darkness. A few months ago, I would have pounded it into submission, smashing the little numbers off its ridiculous face, beating the crap out of the unfeeling plastic body and ripping out its cold mechanical heart. But not anymore.

My hikari is rubbing off on me.

Tick. Tock.

11:40 PM.

The affect that boy has on me is bloody ridiculous. I, the Thief King and murderer of hundreds, have been beaten by this rather weak, scrawny little boy. I look over at him, a dark shape cocooned in sheets at my side. At first glance he would seem quite unremarkable, but my little Ryo is anything but. How can one person be so gentle, so pure, so fucking innocent? At first, all I wanted was to corrupt him, but how does he manage to retain that angelic sweetness even after countless nights of screaming my name while I pound him into the mattress? He confuses me. Do I want to destroy or protect him? Give him pain or pleasure?

I have never before hesitated about hurting someone, so what is it about Ryo that makes me feel like this?

Tick. Tock.

11:45 PM.

He rolls over in his sleep, and my breath catches in my throat.

Tick. Tock.

His silvery white hair seems to emit a pale glow, spread out around his face like a halo, and strikes a beautiful chord with the black of the bed sheets. His face is prettier than any girl's, with soft, full lips that beg to be kissed and licked, and long lashes that fan out over almost unhealthily pale cheekbones.

Tick. Tock.

He smiles cutely in his sleep. What are you dreaming of, my little one?

Mine. My hikari. My Ryo. All mine. Mineminemine.

Tick. Tock.

11:48 PM.

He's lying so still and his breathing is so shallow, he could easily be dead.

Suddenly, my palms are begging to wrap around his throat. It would be so easy just to reach out and wring his pretty little neck. I can't help but think how perfect it would be. He wouldn't feel a thing, and it would look so beautiful. Crimson blood smeared darkly against pale white skin, like a red rose on snow.

My heart has sped up so much it feels like it could leap right out of my chest, and somehow, my hands are already at his throat. I remember how wonderful it feels to kill, to have another creature completely at my mercy, to feel the life slowly drain out of it. I want to do this so badly I am getting dizzy from the anticipation.

Then he twitches a little in his sleep, and I am brought back to reality with a crash.

Tick. Tock.

I couldn't do it.

I hate myself for saying it, but I would never be able to hurt him. Why does he do this to me?

I used to be able to kill without batting an eyelid, before this boy somehow wormed his way past my defences, into my heart.

He makes me love him. And I would never be able to change that, even if I wanted to.

"K-Kura?"

Tick. Tock.

11:52 PM.

Ryo blinks sleepily up at me out of huge, pretty eyes.

He wraps his arms around me, and presses a sleepy kiss to my jaw.

"Go to sleep, 'Kura." he mumbles, curling up like a kitten, with his head on my chest. I stroke his fluffy hair absentmindedly, until he falls asleep again.

Tick. Tock.

11:58 PM.

Hurt. Pain. Destroy. Kill.

I look down at the sleeping boy snuggled up to me.

Hold. Kiss. Protect. Love.

I love you, Ryo.

Tick. Tock.

11:59 PM

I'm falling more and more in love with him with every passing minute, and losing more and more of my old self in the process.

Tick. Tock.

00:00 AM

And I don't regret a fucking second of it.

**So how was that?**

**Once again, please review, and I'll love you for ever!**


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